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things are going quite well.
things with blake and i are goining great.
things with work are going good. i'm loving the fact that i am working...but i love my days off more than anything. I just wish that i could spend them with Blake.
I am really happy for him. and proud for the most part because he had an interveiw today with the Police Department and it went well. he starts the 20th and i am so happy for him.
i'm worried about certain people at the moment.
My parents are splitting and my dad is getting serious about some girl in the phillapines or whatever and after my mom is out of the house he is flying over there to fill out paper work. scares me a little bit but i hope he is happy. my mother is talking to some guy named marty which i am happy about because it keeps her from dissing dad all the time. i hate it when she does that. there is no reason for it at all.
what she doesn't know though is that after she moves out and gets set on her feet...dad is pulling out divorce papers and things are really going to get riled. i hate the thought of it. i hate the fact of a lot of things that have happend here lately. but what in the world am i going to do about it? absolutely nothing.
I went to Missouri today to give Matt my bird. hopefully they get along real well and that she doean't give him too much problems. i love that bird to death and will miss her a lot but yet...she wasn't getting the attention and devotion from me that she needed so...shes better off.
lost my train of thought. bye
lalala
lalala
lalala
lalala
lalalala
lalalallala
I sit here and wonder an tell my mind doesn???t work.... can anyone really know who I am.. or am I to complicated to understand. I think I am going to stop trying. leave my life just as it is and just turn my back to it and let it role. the question is who would sit there with me. who would stay with me. and who loves me enough to help me.
people don???t understand, I have come to learn this. but I want to help them understand. I want to make them understand. WAIT TELL THEY GET ALOAD OF ME!!!!
I can make them understand, even if I have to change everything about me. maybe if I changed myself people would see me and understand.. I am going to change
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***This is just a poem that I wrote the other day. I wrote it b/c i was happy..funny though....even when i'm happy..i still write morbid..:). I guess it's the only way I CAN write...or..maybe it just proves that my heart is made of stone.
I thought these tears
would never dry
nor the whispers upon my lips,
as I told my soul to die
my heart had fallen to pieces
cries echoing though my eyes
I was left in ruins
burned by careless lies
damning it all to Hell
I made it a sin to love
repenting quietly-
whispered prayers to those above
as I turned to quiet stone
and bled my heart to death
you grabbed hold-
to restore what was left
**Hm....nope, no title. I hardly ever title my 'poetry' (if it can be called that)
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